The Me I Am.

I know that I'm not the most horrible person in the world (Though there may be some who would disagree), and I know that no one person is perfect, but I can't help noticing that I am not the person that I want Me to be. There tend to be so many things that I loath about myself, that it would almost be impossible to list them here...almost.

• I am very, very, very lazy. When I have time to do so many things like, reading a book or learn piano or climbing a mountain, I instead decide to take a long siesta or sit and watch countless episodes of Boy Meets World and Doctor Who.
• Lack of self confidence. Hence this lovely blog entry.
• I Love to Procrastinate.When there is homework to be done, it is not. Or at least not until the night before. I've become better now that I am in collage, but, well...refer back to the first bullet.
• My health is rubbish. Therefore, my body is rubbish, or so I think. I am not excessively unhealthy but you won't see me running or doing many strenuous activities. This normal American lifestyle has given me a lovely, soft, and pudgy lump on my tummy and has done no good for any of my joints. All of them POP like crazy, especially my neck and back. Just a twist or two and I sound like a child who has just discovered the wonders of bubble wrap.
• I have psoriasis. Here's a link.http://www.webmd.com/skin-problems-and-treatments/psoriasis/understanding-psoriasis-basics Look it up. Now this one is less fixable, but it contributes to bullet 2.
• I don't like to confront people. If I ever want to go on a date or just make a new friend, they have to be the instigators.  I love people, but they terrify me. I care very much about what they think of me and there and then I know that they won't like me just because I am, well, Me.
• I am mediocre in all things. I have never been exceptionally great at anything, just average. Who likes average? No one.
• My spirituality is lacking. I love my church and believe in all of it's teachings, but for some completely idiotic reason, I don't live each of it's standards. Mental.
•  Lastly but certainly not least, I'm Mental.

I could probably go on until my fingers fell off and the readers eyes began to bleed, but I don't want ot seem too self loathing. Because I'm not. I know that I have (many, many) flaws, but I also know that I have many streagths. I just have trouble bringing those strengths out when all of these flaws keep blocking them and making them seem so insignificant.

Why am I telling the WWW this, do you ask? Why does anyone care whether or not I like myself? Well they probably don't and there are much worse things on the internet, but I mostly decided to share this because maybe, just maybe, I can look, comprehend, and find some way to push past and dash away from the person I am, and run strait into the arms of the person I wish I could be.